Making the Best of it

We said goodbye to my “little” Grandma Irene in January.  She would have turned 99 in March. I was bigger than her by 5^th grade, and as an adult always felt twice her size.  She was one of those kinds of people who, from my perspective, were nothing short of perfect.  She was beautiful inside and out.  She was smart.  She liked to learn a new word every day. She was gentle, kind and patient. And, if I was smart enough to pay attention, she showed us all one of the most perfect examples of how to live a good life that I know of.

Almost every evening around 5, she and Grandpa “Flip” would enjoy a Southern Comfort and lemonade.  They ate small healthy meals. They enjoyed simple pleasures. And they knew how to have good laughs.  They lived through the Great Depression and two World Wars.  They knew how to face adversity.  They knew how to save for a rainy day.  They were prepared for the worst but expected the best.  They knew how to make the best of it.

And even as I was learning the news of Grandma Irene’s passing I was also about to learn one of the great lessons of life first hand.

I found out the news moments after our plane touched down in Orlando as we stood in line for a bus to our Disney wonderland vacation. I would miss her services back home. It was the start of an ironic chain of events that no one could have ever predicted.  It set a tone for our trip that I thought we would not be able to shake.  The whole mess was simply a disaster that couldn’t be avoided. 

The details are not relevant, so I will strip our story to its bare essentials.  As we wiped tears and walked to our bus, we realized the weather was freezing.  Florida was experiencing a rare cold snap.  Jake was, we thought, recovering from a stomach virus which he came down with the day before we left.  Sadly, that was not to be.  Our little guy was sick the entire trip, every single night.  He lost six pounds and did not eat one full meal.  He was weak and without energy, too queasy for many rides. Once the weather warmed up a bit we experienced a day of pelting 4 inch rains.  

I spent the first full day of our dream vacation, bitter, angry, and tearful.  I was jealous of all the happiness that surrounded us everywhere we looked.   Then that sweet boy of mine burst into tears and said, “Mommy, I’m sorry I’m ruining our vacation!”

It was then that I knew, I physically felt the presence of Grandma, and I knew what she would do and what I needed to do too.  We needed to make the best of what we had.  We were facing a moment of great adversity for our family and how we responded would set an example that we would all need to learn from.  Would this defeat us or would we do what Grandma would do and look for the ray of sunshine in all those clouds.

And so, our trip turned out much different than we had anticipated.  But we each dug deep and found ways to not just survive but to lift each other up, to enjoy close company, to appreciate feelings of empathy for each other we likely wouldn’t have looked for otherwise, and had genuine moments of joy amidst many other moments of difficult challenges.

One day I hope we will look back on this as “that vacation” and smile and think of good memories and how we did the best we could.

Our generation has experienced privileges we cannot fully appreciate, but we can learn, if we open our eyes, a lesson from those who make up the Greatest Generation. We can teach our children that they can sink or swim.  We can show them how to be bitter and angry or we can smile and help them find the bright side.  We can be defeated and give up or we can face our challenges and make the best of it. I know what Grandma would do.